I'm not Afraid to Be Scared Anymore

Ladies, Gentleman, Post-Earthly Beings,


Are you enjoying the fruits of the gridiron baller's labor? Are you basking in the warming glow of your high definition television as your favorite team trounces the lesser competition? Can you stand it?


Last year will forever live in infamy as the worst in the history of the state of Michigan. Not only did our beloved(mostly) Wolverines experience the joyless result of 3-9, but our favorite red-headed, step children the Lions set a record.......for an all the wrong reasons.

I think the Lions' problem was that they were afraid to be scared. Can you hear their collective anuses tightening as they faced a third and long on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, in an attempt at avoiding their inevitable fate as the biggest losers in professional football history? Do you really believe they believed they could win against those odds?

By the same token, do you think the Giants expected anything but victory under similar, yet playoff conditions? Eli Manning is not afraid to be skerrd.
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I believe it was the Rapper Bonecrusher who stated on wax that he, "aint ever scared." I can only assume is also not afraid to be scared either.

It's kind of like preparing to see a horror movie and choosing not to watch it because of the realization that fear will come into the picture. The Lions, knowing they were about to watch, shall we say Jaws, decided to pass:

"Shoot, I'll just save my 8 dollars"
"Uhm, I'm not really a big fan of horror movies"
"I'll just wait till it comes out on video"
"My fellow linebackers, based on the their size and intelligence, may not be legally old enough to view this rated R film"
"My vagina hurts, I'll pass"
"I'm a family man; I take my kids to the beach. Sharks straight freak me the fuck out"
"Surely ye Jest young Bonecrusher. I'm afraid of puppies and aggressive chidren"
"I hate life"

Sometimes, you have to embrace the fear; make it your lil' buddy. It's not like it's their job to perform on the field or something.........oh wait.

The Lions will always have the built in excuse that Matt Millen ran their pathetic unit for about 7 years too long. You know, you'd think an ex-linebacker could at least assemble a decent LB core. The Lions' linebacking core last year resembled my son's pop warner unit. Ok OK! But if I had a son, that's what they'd look like.

The reality of the situation is that the Ford family was too stubborn to realize they made a giant error in judgement. Hmmmmmm.........did you just feel that chill of Deja Vu? No no, it's the urge to take it the strip club; the feeling that maybe you've seen this horror film before and already know the bloody, gruesome end?

Right.....kinda like the screwed themselves in the auto industry, my sentiments exactly.

Well, much like Obama bailed out GM and Chrysler, Jerry Jones tried to bail the Lions out with the trade for John Kitna.

The last Mensa meeting I went to, both Kitna and Millen FORGOT TO BRING THE GD HAWAIIAN PUNCH! That just gets my goat! Yet, they seem to do it every time! Fool me once, John and Matt, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.


What I've seen so far from the Wolverines against Western Michigan has restored my faith in the order of things. I can't help but wonder if my Grandfather is pulling some strings up stairs to see Michigan and Notre Dame lock horns at full speed. And it was good.

Well, my pops is having a cow now; the issue of a little wall incident. Better go....


Thanks for listening,

Jay