Pre-Eulogy

Call it what you will...I call it tennis. Sport is annoying. You've been gifted all these tools and yet, for some unknown reason, fate pumps a fist into your solar plexus. It's challenging, yet somehow entertaining. To watch young ladies and gentleman parade about, brandishing implements of power and disdain. It's almost a joke. Their fitness cannot be questioned. You could be a baseline grinder, fighting for your right to make a paycheck and simply a larger, serve and volley-er can out himself you. Some are more physically blessed. The tragedy is less a loss than a win at the hand of the more gifted yet less talented individual, if that even occurs in nature.

But tennis is not a team sport. And that is the blessing and the curse. You need a team to perform in most sports. It reminds me of Beyonce. Was Beyonce not better in Destiny's Child form? Was her form not formier in that form? I certainly appreciated her form in that form. MMMMMMMMMMMMM. Mmm mmm good. Like some soup. I would lick that spoon clean. Ok ok, maybe I need to get laid. Certainly I do. I'm really worried I can't bring this back to my eulogy theme.

This makes me think of Tool, the band. On a side note, I'm pretty geeked about the side project band with Josh Homme, Dave Grohl and Sir John Paul Jones(has he been knighted yet?) Tool is a very talented and dark band. I do not seen any reason for a rock band to exist in any other state. Any other and another are similar expressions, FYI.

Giving a eulogy is a very daunting and honorable task. It's very difficult to sum up, in so many words, your feelings of love and admiration for one person. But it happens. Everyone is so complex and unique, words fail to express it; kinda like Alaskans and snowflakes.

My eulogy, your asking? My epitaph will read the following:

"He was a complicated man. No one understood him but his woman. His woman that exists in his mind. He is muy bueno, like New Mexican green. He will live in dust form until time is too pissed to function. He would like folks to take a bite of a cheeseburger and spit it into his coffin. He loved life and boobies forever."

The end.