This Modern Life

Good day to you all,

So, I was able to steal away for a few seconds to post a new blog. Don't worry, I'll get to the feces part later. Yeah, steal away for a few seconds; avoiding the phone calls, texting, emailing, instant messaging, facebook and myspace messages, etc. etc. etc. . This is all simultaneous, mind you. Oh, and downloading "things." Did I mention I hate multi-tasking? It's not enough I have to constantly multi-task while at work(I'm not even going to go into what that entails) but my personal life has become a not so savory blend of electronic duty. My call of duty seems less noble than the original senseof the phrase(lol duty.)

I had a professor of Sociology at Michigan State, who theorized that modern life entailed so many varied responsibilities and tasks that people would eventually spread themselves too thin, to the point were we would never do any one task WELL, or to best of our abilites, just kinda stir the pot to an extent. This theory found it genesis in the pre-texting, IM'ing, Twitter, blah blah blah era, so think what he'd have to say about this theory now? WOWZERS! He was referring more to the responsibilites of the average wife/husband/professional/parent/brother/sister/son/daughter/gardener/golfer/karate brown belt/golf enthusiast/educator/film buff/geniologist/etc. etc. etc. . Tack on the responsibilities of the average electronic consumer, and we're talking some serious multi-tasking.

It's scary to me, that we could spread ourselves so thin that nothing we do is done well, or to the best of our abilities. Kinda defeats the purpose of doing anything, no? Or is it our goal to dip our spoons in as many pots as possible, without giving them a proper stir? Is this what being a woman is like(SORRY!!??)

I think the time has come that we, as thoughfull members of the modern age, attempt to trim the fat that is some of this electronic madness, and focus on other ways to spend our time. Oh wait, I'm blogging this, effe. I could stick with Facebook alone, and not need to Twitter and Myspace, etc. . I love instant message some(you know who you are) but do I really need this 24/7? I'm IM'ing more than 7/11 is open. My word. I think some of these electronic processes could be weeded out, or maybe narrowed down to less sources; a merger of sorts. You know, something like the auto big three should do; trim the fat.

Speaking of fat and Michigan State University, I have a theory. While at Michigan State, amidst the tear gas and black pants, I was thoroughly dissapointed by the poor quality of the food the cafeteria's provided to the young, growing student body. There was more recycling going in those caf's than a million earth days combined.

Monday: Turkey Dinner(yummy! there is plastic around my meat, hmph)
Tuesday: Turkey Suprise(uhm, I don't like suprises)
Wednesday: Turkey Stew(stomach turning....)
Thursday: Turkey a la King(a meal fit for royalty! maybe that's why it's purple)
Friday: Surf and Turf w/Turkey Lobster and Turkey Filet product(just making sure you're still listening)

Well, there's always Fruity Pebbles! I would'nt mess with the sandwich bar; the cold cuts and white bread also suck ass. Damn, that hippie has no beard net on! Someone call the health department! Can we get some smooth jazz in here?

If the food quality was not insult enough, can we talk about the bathrooms for a second? So, after you eat this gruel, what do you think happens? RIGHT. It tends to make your tummy feel poorly, to the point where you spend half you day on the throne. It's not exactly Mom's home cooking people, got me? So, while spending half my day reliveing my sore bowls from the sub human calliber of organic matter they called food I choked down daily, I get the distinct honor of privilege of wiping up with................SAND PAPER! One ply, sand paper. I could smooth out driftwood with this stuff. This toilet paper could double as a brillo pad, to scrub the toughest stains from my pots and pans. The toilet paper could aid in the process of re-finishing wood furniture. Get what I'm saying?

So, not only did I have to deuce several times a day, but I had to punish my poor behind each time. I saw red, then I ordered Hungry Howies. I won't even get into the poor quality of some of these pizza joints up there? What is a blintz? This is not Papa John's! I'm starving, but I can't even eat this because it tastes like a hyperactive child threw a bunch of pizza ingredients together and nuked it for 10 min. WHAT THE DEVIL!!!???


Back to my theory. Do you think the brave young soldiers playing hoops for Michigan State have to eat dorm food? And then, subsuequently punish their bottoms in the dorm bathrooms? Maybe they don't drink as much cheap beer as I did, which might not've helped, but MAYBE, just maybe they do!!!! Mmmmmm...Milwaukee's Best Light! I REALLY REALLY, do not want to see what Milwaukee's worst is capable of. I mean, you have to bong that beer to try as hard as you can NOT to taste it. Wowzer. Drink MBL and drink it responsibly, you know, for the taste.

Sorry sorry, I got distracted there. Hoopers, hoopers, right. Would you want to be on national TV, playing against the Tar Heels, with a turning stomach and chaffed bung hole? My stars, that is not a pleasant picture. "Coach, take me out man, I gotta run to the bathroom. GOD DAMN IT KALIN! I TOLD NOT TO EAT THE TURKEY SUPRISE!!!!"

I hope this is not the case. Maybe MSU just ran out of steam, taking out Lousville and UCONN in the same week. That's a'nice. But you'd think they'd never run out of steam considering what's fueling them. LOL, OMG OMG, wait wait, I just got a text!!! TTYL, BRB. OMG OMG, someone's IM'ing on facebook, Im trying to look at your twitter, wait wait, brb, someone's calling, hn
LMAO! OMG OMG, hold on hold on, I just got a picture, ttyl ttly, wait wait..............................

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



Sincerely,

Me


PS can I get some love from the Tigers?

PS PS I'm schvitzing. Did I spell that correctly?